Here’s Everything You Need to Know About Saying Yes or Saying No

Adventures in Living a Healthy, Juicy Life
by Cheryl Ragsdale


“No, everything’s fine. I can manage by myself, thank you.”

“No, everything’s fine. I can manage by myself, thank you.”

Saying NO!

Awhile back, I offered to hold the door for a young woman carrying a child, several bags and a hot coffee. She threw me a look and declined my help.  I stood, waiting and watching intently as she tried to look natural and in control of everything while she navigated the door. 

She made it through!   The image of her struggling through the door stuck with me all day. What makes us think we have to “do it all” by ourselves and without help?  If I had held the door for her that day, I would have smiled and then forgotten all about it. But years later, I still remember it.

She’s not alone in refusing to accept support.  Here’s my version of refusing to do something that I know would work better for me.

too much sugar!

too much sugar!

 When I sat down to write, there were 8 chocolate orange sticks left in the box. Now, there are seven. These are the very same chocolates that have caused an outbreak of spots on my face. Well, and the Haagen Dazs ice cream that was recently on sale. I still have some of that left too.

Throw it away? Absolutely not! Isn’t it funny how we fight against doing what’s good for us?  That’s normal for us humans.


Saying Yes!

 Hayley was a stranger to me when we started chatting on Twitter whilst watching UFC 100 (mixed martial arts fights) on TV this summer.  She was in England and I was in the US.  We happily cheered for our favorites and tweeted like mad whenever anything interesting happened. It was so much fun! It was like we were in the same room together.

After a few more tweets, we graduated to becoming facebook friends. That’s how I found out that she knew Keith Florian, my Jiu Jitsu teacher.  Small world! Hayley and her husband, Pete, were planning a visit to Canada and the US with Boston being one of their stops. 

I made a deal with her. If she brought me a packet of my favorite biscuits (cookies), I’d let her borrow my gi to train in.  She was a good sport and said, “yes”.  Hayley kept her word and turned up this Tuesday at Florian Martial Arts Center with Pete, the “bikkies” and a big smile ready to take her first grappling class.  My McVitie’s Dark Chocolate Digestives traveled from Newcastle, England through Manchester then off to Frankfurt, Calgary, Banff, Jasper, Edmonton, Minneapolis, New York City, New Jersey, and finally to me in Boston.  Quite a journey and only one was broken! 

Cheryl Ragsdale Florian Martial Arts 11 Cheryl Ragsdale Florian's Martial Arts 12

Cheryl Ragsdale Florian's Martial Arts 10


Peter Hayley & Cheryl Ragsdale Florian Martial Arts

Peter, Hayley and Cheryl ready for class at Florian Martial Arts Center

Look what we would have missed if I hadn’t invited Hayley to visit or if she had said, “No.”

Seems to me, the woman with the bundles, the baby and the beverage was taking life too seriously as she navigated the door. Or maybe that’s just my interpretation. Could it be that she was playing some mad game – like she was challenging herself to see if she could handle it all? For all I know, I could have been spoiling her fun. 




van station wagon vastly overloaded breaking in half and dragging on road with people in the back waving ANON 600x317 Heres Everything You Need to Know About Saying Yes or Saying No

 Saying Yes! That’s living life juicy! Or maybe a little bit crazy…

What are you saying “Yes!” to when you mean no and “No!” to when you mean yes?  We love your comments! Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section.

photo credits:, and my personal photos taken by Lea with my camera during class

Use a Highlighter on this page

Related posts:

  1. What Balaclavas Can Teach Us about Courage
  2. Alex Lewis taps Ryan Hall, Takes 2nd Place at 2009 International Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Pan Am in NYC
  3. How I Met Four UFC Fighters
  4. Rock the Ink: Miss Tattoo Competition 2009

  • Get Cheryl's 1st Free eBook!

     "51 Must-Know Habits for Staying Young - from the Inside Out" 


    Subscribe to my blog today and discover the secrets to looking younger at any age!
    We hate SPAM.
    Your personal information will be kept private and never sold.  

    2 Comments Add Yours ↓

    1. 1

      Great observations, great questions! Back in the day, I thought I had to do it all myself because I didn’t want to inconvenience or impose upon anyone, or I thought I had something to prove. How dumb was that, I finally discovered!

      When we ask for help, we’re providing a unique opportunity for the other to do a giving thing; when we say thanks, we’re acknowledging the gift and the giver, and the giver feels good!

    2. 2

      Tweet from @AnnaConlan @thatgirlisfunny – laughed while reading your new post, sometimes I say no to help, when what i really mean is dear god thank you yes!

    Your Comment

    Popular Posts, Inc, Inc

    Healthy Lifestyle Bloggers


    Creative Commons License
    that girl is funny blog by Cheryl Ragsdale is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License.